Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
