I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
