I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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