I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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