Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i dont even know how to be here
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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