I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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