are you so shy because you have an std?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize