You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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