Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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