I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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