Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Randomize
