my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
You're like the curious george of whores
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
