i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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