I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Come on in and take your pants off
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
