I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
