Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
