i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
