Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
