I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
