I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
