i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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