Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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