True but thats because hes a fetus.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
