Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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