I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
