im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
