oh god the rape fog is back!
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Randomize
