I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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