He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
