Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
