a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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