So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
