I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
