Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
