Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
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It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
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I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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