I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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