the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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