i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
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I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
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Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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