...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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