May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Randomize
