Texts From Last Night

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  (216): View more from Ohio

  I don't usually arrange sex via text message

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  (216): I don't usually arrange sex via text message http://tfl.nu/akrs
  Replies (8) Good night (1163) Bad night (476)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.

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  (502): You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear. http://tfl.nu/hwjh
  Replies (17) Good night (5660) Bad night (704)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome

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  (403): That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome http://tfl.nu/k9p3
  Replies (25) Good night (5496) Bad night (834)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.

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  (443): There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic. http://tfl.nu/18x8
  Replies (31) Good night (1307) Bad night (4976)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?

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  (850): does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath? http://tfl.nu/la37
  Replies (14) Good night (1240) Bad night (3955)
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  (716): View more from New York

  He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."

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  (716): He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches." http://tfl.nu/amaz
  Replies (5) Good night (2763) Bad night (1525)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing

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  (317): So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing http://tfl.nu/lzer
  Replies (15) Good night (3421) Bad night (1261)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?

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  (260): how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'? http://tfl.nu/cg25
  Replies (10) Good night (1507) Bad night (432)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I wish they made people sized litter boxes.

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  (519): I wish they made people sized litter boxes. http://tfl.nu/qgr4
  Replies (11) Good night (632) Bad night (1504)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.

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  (740): When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits. http://tfl.nu/xvhm
  Replies (10) Good night (492) Bad night (2420)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live

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  (954): And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live http://tfl.nu/94h1
  Replies (3) Good night (691) Bad night (614)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.

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  (902): I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me. http://tfl.nu/zjm5
  Replies (3) Good night (521) Bad night (354)
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  (858): View more from California

  There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.

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  (858): There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie. http://tfl.nu/bbcq
  Replies (5) Good night (1004) Bad night (266)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.

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  (708): Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway. http://tfl.nu/5xxq
  Replies (0) Good night (421) Bad night (235)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.

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  (773): things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear. http://tfl.nu/iuyq
  Replies (3) Good night (275) Bad night (636)

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