I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
