you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
