Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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