This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
