Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
