You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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