the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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