Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
