So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
