My nipple is on Facebook.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
