He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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