3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i dont even know how to be here
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize