How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
