I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
