She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
