I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
