This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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