ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize