you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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