And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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