would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
