You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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