I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
