chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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