It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
