we're blogging at a bar
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
