never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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