Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
