Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
