I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
